


The 15th Cycle

by FourFaces



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Gen, The gang does a pepper challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 23:16:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21005786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FourFaces/pseuds/FourFaces
Summary: Lup sets up a pepper challenge for the crew. Will the crew be able to handle the intense heat of the Dragon Pepper or will they be vanquished by their toughest foe yet?





	The 15th Cycle

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a super silly one shot in my series of TAZ Balance cycle fics.

"Alright! We all remember the rules! No cheating, no spells, and the first one to grab the milk loses!" Lup chirped cheerfully as she passed out the Dragon Peppers.

She had been so excited to find these on her travels to the market. She had compared them to the heat of Merle's Dwarven Snow Peppers and decided they were much, much hotter when she ran tests on her samples. 

Since they would come back anyway next year, the two youngest humans of the crew agreed to the challenge.

"Remember guys," Merle grinned as the last of the seven peppers was handed to Barry who eyed it with trepidation, "there's no shame in bailing!"

"Alright!" Lup cheerfully called as she lifted her pepper. "On your marks … get set … go!"

Everyone popped the peppers in their mouths.

Magnus was the first to reach for his milk, about a minute in. His face red and tears streaming down his cheeks. He gulped it down and tried hard not to sob too openly from the heat of the capsaicin. 

Davenport was next to chug milk, five minutes in, never having been one to enjoy spicy food anyway.

"Whath kindth of god wouldth make thith?" He cried out, his tongue rendered temporarily useless as his tastebuds were seared off.

Lucretia was third to reach for her glass. Her eyes were watery and her nostrils flared as she chugged her milk. She had grown up enjoying spicy dwarven cuisine but this? This was an abomination. 

She quickly pulled out a journal and began documenting it. 85 years from this moment, this embarrassing time would be forgotten by all but her - and 95 years from this moment everyone would know of their shame. 

Lup and Taako held out, glaring each other down with watering eyes. It didn't matter who won, they would not be bested by the other one.

In a flash, both of their milks were downed as the twins cursed in elvish. Lup had only run laboratory tests on the peppers but she never would have imagined that they would be this hot. Numbers meant nothing anymore. 

A glance at Barry revealed he was taking this much easier than any of them expected as he stared ahead, stoically holding in the pain from the pepper.

About twenty minutes in, Merle finally caved and chugged down the milk.

"Fantasy Christ! Was that grown in an actual dragon's garden?" He cursed as he prepared to cast a spell to heal his tongue. 

They all looked to Barry. He sat, staring straight ahead, face pale - milk untouched.

"Wow! Barold's a badass!" Magnus choked out. 

"Good job Barry!" Lup chirped, leaning over the table to clap her hand on his shoulder.

Barry continued to stare straight ahead.

"Uh … Barry?" Taako asked.

Lup shook Barry,causing his body to flop off of the chair. 

"Uh ...I think Barry's dead," Lup started.

"Wh-what?!" Davenport gasped. "Merle!"

"On it!" Merle replied, rushing to Barry's side. 

"How long has he-?" Taako asked.

"Well … looks like it might have been about 30 seconds after he popped the pepper in his mouth," Merle sighed as he looked Barry over. "Spare the dying is gonna do jack shit."

"... Cause of death … dragon pepper …" Lucretia started.

~

Barry sighed before popping the pepper in his mouth. He didn't want to embarrass himself in front of Lup but he was notoriously bad at handling spicy food. At least he knew that if the worst happened, he could just reach ahead and grab his glass of milk. No shame in that.

He popped the pepper in his mouth, chewed twice -

And suddenly was on the deck of the Starblaster in his recorded state.

He wasn't going to live this one down. 


End file.
